Suffering from a pretty harmful cycle of depression, a friend Ė just engaged to the man of her dreams Ė advised me that the answer to my blues was a girlfriend.
According to her, my problem was that I was single. A partner, a rewarding relationship would break me out of the funk of dissatisfaction I was stewing in.
She tried to set me up and I, feeling meek and unable to articulate a rebuttal, went along with her plan.
She introduced me to a number of nice ladies but the sparks werenít flying with any of them. This disappointed me further but now that Iím on the road to recovery Iím actually glad that I didnít get involved with any of them.
Why? Because the negative mental state I was in at that time would not have been solved via a new romance.
The opening stages of a relationship are wonderful because of the discovery of a new person. Normally trivial information like where they went to school is fascinating.
Both parties strive to display the best version of themselves: selflessness, understanding, politeness (perhaps even a bit of chivalry) are some of the values which are emphasised during the heady opening salvos. But, this doesn't make external problems go away, they're just relegated to the rear of concern.
As the initial euphoria wears off, those negative issues inevitably surface.
If I had gotten involved with one of these ladies it would have been a kind of trickery. Showing someone who seemed fine but who, really, had a lot of issues.
Now, that Iím on the road to recovery I'm a much better representative for honesty and stability.
The self is the foundation, build on a relationship on top of it.
If you try and make the relationship the foundation, you might be asking a lot of your partner.