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At the ripe young age of 24, I really didnít expect to be surrounded by a group of friends who were already engaged or getting married. I was under the assumption that in this day and age, young people were more focused on building their careers and seeing the world before settling down so soon. Yet, I appear to be wrong. In the past year Iíve seen dozens of engagements and marriages pop up on my news feed. And even though everyone keeps telling me that Iím fine and that Iíve got plenty of time until I need to worry, well, Iím already worrying.
There are, firstly all the what-if questions that I ask myself. What if my current boyfriend dumps me in a few years? By then, Iíll be in my late twenties and will be less desirable. What if Iím already undesirable? What if Iíll never find the one? What if he doesnít want to marry me? The list goes on and on, and usually sends me into a spiral of never-ending worry.
Not something that a 24 year old should be spending their time on. I should be focusing on whatís important to me and building my own life.
However, getting married is important to me. Itís those ideas of growing old with someone; raising a family; building a life partnership filled with trust and love that really appeals. Even though Iím young, Iím already thinking about these things, and I know that in the future I want that sort of life.
Therefore, what am I to do?
Well, Iíve learned one very good thing about all of this (and I know I have much more to learn) - is that patience is key. Feeling pressured to marry and then placing that pressure on my relationship is not a good combo. Itís a recipe for disaster. Everyone is different, and thus has varying opinions on when to get married, how to get married, and if to even do it at all. Plus timing is everything. Just because other people decide to make the vows after only a year of dating, sometimes a relationship may need five years to blossom and prove itself as something that can last the test of time. Because, just like tattoos, marriage is for life because even if you divorce - the vows are still there. The kids. The money. Everything stays with you whether you want it to or not.
So really Iíve got to calm it down a notch. Just because I see everyone else getting married doesnít mean I should be doing the same. I should be following the path that my relationship (or the next one, or the next one) is meant to go on. And if you feel the same, at any age, just remember to be patient, talk it out and let everything take its course. Sage advice. I think Iím going to go follow it right now.
Each and every relationship is a gift. You just need to be patient and nurture it as every couple is different, and every relationship is different.
The vows of marriage stay with you regardless.
Patience is the key to a successful marriage in moving forward.