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An Ideal Marriage Counsellor

by Justine Crowley (follow)
Independent Business Consultant, Doctor, HubGarden Editor and Author/Publisher of four self help books: www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JustineCrowley
Commitment (73)      Marriage (39)      Time (23)      Wedding (12)      Separation (5)      Counselling (3)      Growth (3)     

marriage counselling, an ideal marriage counsellor, is marriage counselling successful
Image Courtesy of hin255 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net Marriage Counselling can help with mending a broken heart, with the right counsellor in place.

There is one stage or another in a marriage where a couple will need marriage counselling. Marriage counselling services are available for couples who are not fighting, and who want to strengthen their marriage and the bonds they have for each other; and is also for those couples that are separated and/or fighting in order to save their marriage. Not all marriages can be saved, and a good marriage counsellor is impartial to this notion.

What to look for in a great marriage counsellor:

1. Are they themselves married?

Why would you go to a personal trainer if they're not exercising themselves? Sure, we do have slack periods, however, how could a marriage counsellor relate to married couples if he/she is not currently in a happy/good marriage, and of who has not tied the knot themselves? It doesn't make sense. It would be like the blind leading the blind.

2. Neutrality

A good marriage counsellor does not take sides, and neither do they judge. They remain present and neutral to the information being presented to them. They do not say that "you must leave him" or that "you must stay together for the sake of the kids." A perfect example is when Miranda and Steve went to marriage counselling in the first Sex and the City Movie. The counsellor was neutral while these two characters were fighting because Steve slept with another woman. One vow was broken, but what about the other vows? The counsellor in this situation did not say that Steve and Miranda must do this. They chose to give their marriage another chance. The counselling most certainly helped.

3. Confidentiality

A big one. In individual counselling situations, trust is gained on the marriage counsellor to stay integral and to honour their word. They must not share what one partner said about the other to the other. The beans are slipped as soon as the couple in question are sitting down together with the assigned counsellor.

4. It takes two to tango

The counsellor needs to allow couples to sit together in counselling sessions, and to just let it be. Flexibility in hours is also paramount as many people with corporate jobs do work long hours, and hence may only be available after business hours and/or on weekends.

This is all speaking from experiences as a psychology doctor, and from people that I know who have gone to marriage counselling. If your truly was married, she would be a marriage counsellor herself.

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