Relationships can be hard. Once you get past the initial phase of getting to know one another, comes a sense of comfort and relaxation. Within that stage of being yourselves, arguments can sometimes arise that never existed before. You may even see a pattern of fighting that can be worrisome.
We all have issues that we try to hide away. We can be proud beings refusing to admit the truth to ourselves and our partners. Sometimes, you might not be fighting with your partner at all but projecting all your personal insecurities onto them.
One example is jealousy; one can be jealous of their partner speaking to someone of the opposite sex due to personal insecurities; if you have been hurt in the past you may now be over-protective. Maybe you have had a difficult childhood with not finding acceptance that now your defence mechanism is to refuse to let someone in and have become overly defensive about topics close to heart. Maybe you over-seek attention from your partner today because you have always lacked it in the past. Maybe you have an idea of love that is far from the reality even though you have everything you need right within your grasp.
Love is not easy. Baring your soul and your most intimate secrets to another person is one of the most difficult things to do. But when done with the right person, they will bring such understanding, intimacy, and growth in both partners. By avoiding this idea all together, you might just end up losing your other half. It is easier to seek solitude than to stay and be fully honest. It takes an infinite amount of bravery to stay with the person you know you love and to truly open your lines of communication. But if you never try, you will always wonder. Love can sometimes take us like a force of nature, one we do not want part with. However, the only proper method of traveling through that force is to reflect upon our own selves and be willing to allow someone else to help us heal and grow.
Thank you for your reply recov! From my experience and that of many, this does appear to be the case. It is hard to be completely open and raw with someone else. Even more so, it can be hard for us to be honest with ourselves about the root of the problem. I find that sitting down and spending a moment of self-reflection figuring out why an argument even started can help. Sometimes we can realize that our partners have done nothing wrong and it is simply our past that we are forcing upon them. However, so long as we are willing to share our thoughts and our insecurities, we will surely find acceptance and love from our other halves.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have noticed either yourself or your partner project?