Some of us find ourselves in love with the idea of being in love rather than with the person we’re with. I, myself, have always been in love with the concept of love. It is a theme that is often present in our lives since childhood from the people around us, the books we read, the movies we watch, and certainly the fairy tale stories we hear. Yet, what those fairy tales neglect to reveal is that it is seldom quite that simple.
You might think it strange to be in love with an idea. Yet, chances are we have all been there at one point or another. I have always thought love conquers all and that if you believe you love someone then everything else does not matter. I still believe that to a certain extent; however, I now realize it is all dependent on whether or not it is the real thing, and the right someone. Sometimes you need to ask yourself if you are fonder of the person or simply the idea.
At times, it can be hard to realize that it is not the individual you fear parting with but rather love itself. Perhaps subconsciously, there is a misconception that love is always safe and is a shield from the bitter loneliness. This feeling can become so overpowering that it will force us to settle for a relationship or someone we are not fully content with. There is nothing wrong with being alone. We can only be happy with someone else if we are able to find comfort and satisfaction within our own selves.
Sometimes we tend to disregard the signs that it is a poor match. I found myself making that mistake in the past. I thought the spoken words of “I love you” are above it all, that they overwhelm all my doubts and discontent. The truth is I didn’t fully comprehend my disillusion until that relationship ended. Gaining that understanding enabled me to find happiness and fulfilment in my following one.
We tend to romanticize love and relationships, wishing they could play out like our fairy tale fantasies. Alas, reality plays out rather differently. However, the good news is that it is far more enticing and all the more enjoyable that way.