It is amazing to me how we are conditioned in our beliefs and thoughts.
I have met so many people that think they have failed because of relationships or marriages that didn't work out. This is a sad thing.
For the person who was left, there are issues of rejection and often a huge feeling of unjust. The ego is damaged, especially if that person did not see anything was majorly wrong with the relationship.
For the person who left, there are often feelings of guilt. They may not have been able to cope with the relationship - it just might have been too much - or too little.
Many people turn inward and blame themselves completely. I would like to think people should only take half the blame at most.
On both sides there seems to be huge embarrassment.
I have come to think that this is just a process that happens when hurt is new and raw.
Quite often I see men and women have the same questions:
How could he/she do that to me?
What will I do now?
Will I be ostracised by mutual friends?
How will the families treat me?
How do I manage?
...and the same statements:
I did everything I could.
We could have worked it out.
No one will have me.
When you have invested considerable time and effort into a relationship I reckon its only natural to go through all the thoughts and scenarios. It is a way of weeding out all the possibilities and a way to eventual acceptance.
If there were not this process and if the situation didn't hurt so much - we might not be able appreciate a good relationship when we come across it.
It takes a while to be able to step back and look at things from another angle.