Home    Subscribe    Write for Us    FAQ    Contact    HubGarden    Login

Breaking Down Those Break-Ups

by Lorna Bergamasco (follow)
Love (299)      Relationships (276)      Dating (105)      Romance (33)      Resolution (6)     
“Break-ups are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.”




broken heart, heartache,healing


We have all been there – those moments of doubt, fear, anxiety and sadness, attributed to a relationship which we know deep down is just not working, and yet we cannot let go. There are many reasons why we cling to a relationship, especially one of many years. I have listed below some of those reasons and why nothing is as simple as it might seem. These refer to those relationships which are not abusive:

Emotional attachment – by remaining emotionally attached to the other person, it makes it very difficult for you to heal and move on. Initially, and especially if you still have strong feelings for the other person, this can be very hard. Ask yourself the following questions and be honest:

• Will the children be happier?

• What do I miss most about this relationship?

• Do I fear being on my own?

• Will I cease to have a social life?

• Am I concerned about what other people will think?

• Do I like who I am when I am with this person?


It might help to use a 0 – 10 scale on a daily basis, and rate your emotional attachment accordingly. Keep going until the scale sits at 0 – then you can begin to heal and move on.


Fear - try to take out the fear factor and then look at how this might influence your decision.

• Am I afraid of being alone?

• Have I invested too much in this relationship to simply walk away?


Love - there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with that person. The fact that you have to ask this question shows that you are having doubts.

• Do you look forward to this person coming home in the evening, or do you look forward to this person leaving in the morning?

• Do I still love this person?


Needs - if you feel you are always compromising or going out of your way to facilitate your partner, who does not reciprocate, then question if your needs are being met or if this is a one-sided relationship.


To many, the ending of a relationship signifies some kind of failure. However, relationships are constantly changing and growing, and within these changes we may find we have simply grown apart. If, after discussion, counselling, or relationship therapy you still find that nothing has changed, then the decision to end the relationship needs to be made. To end a relationship in the proper manner shows respect for what you once meant to each other and allows you both to walk away with dignity and integrity.



Image "Mending a Broken Heart" by Free Grunge Textures under license cc by 2.0



#Love
#Relationships
#Dating
#Romance
#Resolution
I like this Article - 10
More Articles by Lorna Bergamasco
“If you love someone let them go free, if they come back to you they are yours forever, if they do...
456 views
%%“It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and...
868 views
“Come live in my heart and pay no rent
189 views
%%“Let your heart be your compass, your mind your map, your soul your guide – and you will never...
406 views
“Love is putting a piece of soul into someone else’s care, and being responsible for an equal sh...
518 views
view all articles by Lorna Bergamasco
Articles by Lorna Bergamasco on Other Hubs
“We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do
440 views
“There is no greater disability in society than the inability to see a person as more
265 views
How to communicate with someone who has Dementia
612 views
%%“Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness
176 views
ID: 7280
[ Submit a Comment ]
Trending Articles
Recently I have heard some disastrous dating stories from my single friends
25980 views
Relationships guru Dr Gary Chapman purports that there are five different ways that lovers can c...
14914 views
You already might have seen and read hundreds of and I'm pretty sure that more than 80% of the ...
619 views
It may sound odd to compare a new relationship with buying a new jacket (or other clothing) but, bea...
228 views
One reads lots of surprising information on the internet
414 views
Internet dating sites are increasingly popular as a way of finding that elusive 'someone'
141 views
I wrote this letter thinking of the person I briefly spent time with more than a month ago
3734 views
Have you ever been in contact with an ex and had him ask you, totally clueless, 'Why did we break ...
167 views
The male penguin searches the entire beach for the perfect pebble when he has found the one he...
11906 views
It may be weird to fathom that men can have a very close friendship with another man just like w...
by SJP
1321 views
Categories
 
Copyright 2012-2021 OatLabs ABN 18113479226. mobile version