Quarrels can't be sorted unless both parties want them to be. You will listen to each other or just drop it and 'forget it'. I don't know if you can really 'forget' things. You could get over them I suppose but the best way for me and mine is to communicate – verbally or otherwise.
Partner has got this habit of saying his piece and then walking off. Not fair. I have rights to equal 'say time'. If you're going to have your say and expect me to listen you have to afford me the same courtesy, I tell him. He might do this big sigh and roll his eyes heavenward.
That's another issue, dammit. So disrespectful. Why does'nt my view matter? Why is your opinion more valid than mine? That's just not bloody on.
I try again. If its not working, I leave it. No good talking to someone who won't listen. Waste of breath and effort. If the issue is fairly big we might not talk for a day or two. This is where we find out just who it is a bigger issue for.
One of us will concede.
He'll bring me a cuppa or there'll be a packet of Pineapple Lump lollies by my computer or I'll cook his fav things (likes to eat, he does).
This opens the way to talk and resolve what ever it was that had us arguing in the first place.
Been together long enough to know how to make things right. If he wrote me a letter or note I would laugh. Then bin it. A note can be lost or read by others. Its got nothing to do with 'others'.
If he bought a gift I'd do the same. Without laughing. Can't be bought. Doesn't take material stuff to fix emotional stuff with me.
A barage of words would fall on deaf ears. I'd look at him and think what a load of crock. Might seem insincere and unbelieveable – conman words. Have to shift into the 'receptive' zone first.
A deed is something that is only between us and a memory that only we have and though it might appear small to others, it is huge to us.
Though you might explain it to someone else – there is still that 'exclusive' feeling. A memory is still yours and feels more special than any way you might tell it.