Having a crush is tough. Being a teenager is wretched. Being a teenager with an unrequited love can be one of the most heart-wrenching experiences of our young lives. There you are: teeth being wrangled into place by barbed wires, dripping with acne-induced grease, and you're besotted with an individual that just doesn't give a damn.
I had some top-shelf crushes while I was in high school. I couldn't possibly count the number of conversations I had with my friends that went along the following lines:
"I love him." A cheerful admission from me, in my painful naivety.
"No, you don't. He's a loser." This, is likely what my learned peers would reply.
"...But, I love him."
Eventually, the most baneful question would arise: "What did you last speak to him about?"
The final line in that dialogue would commonly be met with my confused silence. I was always befuddled by the fact that one was expected to actually converse with their love interest.
Given this insight into my pubescent romantic failings, I present to you a list of my favourite high school love interests.
5. The one with the mohawk.
Everyone goes through a phase. Mine was angry music performed by individuals who likely could have been diagnosed with ADHD. My advice is to not beat yourself up over your love for the person that could help you be the best stereotyped version of yourself. You'll get over the fad, just like you'll get over of the personification of it.
4. The nerd.
Intellectualism can be an extremely attractive trait. It's also a treat when it's packaged inside an appropriately good-looking individual. Sadly, in my tale, this wasn't the case. No one ever understands your affection for the lonely nerd. Especially when they’re just as gawky looking as you are, in your terrible adolescence.
3. The sportsman.
The sportsman is unbridled athleticism without a lot of smarts. He’s the polar opposite to the aforementioned nerd. This crush was undoubtedly a guilty pleasure, but still, I wouldn't trade the days spent catching cheeky peaks of such an admirable silhouette.
2. The poor little rich kid.
It takes a special kind of person to make affluence look like a chore. To this crush, trips to Europe were pedestrian. An outing to the theatre was a fortnightly rite. Everything was monetized to this person. Short story, I wouldn't recommend trying to pose for the family portrait with a poor little rich kid.
1. The foreigner.
Accents are alluring. At 16, it's almost impossible not to be enamoured with the foreign exchange student. The glamour, the mystique, and the adorably broken English - what’s not to love? Tragically though, they’ll always have to return to the motherland, and will leave you hideously broken-hearted.
I think, we sometimes find a sick pleasure in unrequited love. We take them up with the same vigour we would a new hobby. We put in time, energy, and an excessive amount of intolerable teen angst. Enjoy crushing while it lasts. Share it with your friends. Absent-mindedly pine after the object of your desire. It's a small joy that's often left behind at adulthood, and the teen experience isn't quite complete without it...