Great relationships burn brightly in a positive way. They're worth the wait.
Relationships. We love them and we hate them. Sometimes we have these feelings both at the same time, and we wonder why we get so confused in life. Relationships can break up friendships, destroy families, and drive us to drastic measures. One thing is for sure whether it is; man and woman, man and man, woman and woman - we all have the same emotions. We all need good relationships. If they are not good, we will throw them away and search or pine endlessly for the next. This can start at a young age, and sometimes never stops as we can’t make up our minds about what we really want; and when we do decide on something - we have out grown these needs and require others.
So what to do? Well let’s break it down. Depending on your age, cultural beliefs, past experiences, gender preferences, family circumstances etc - each one of us will have different needs, and these will change constantly; but one thing is permanent - you must be happy in the relationship you're in. It needs to be fun, and it requires growth of both parties at the same times to last. A good way to keep a relationship strong is finding a hobby or activity together that you both really enjoy, and do it often; even when you place children into the equation, make them do it too. It makes for great family bonding for life.
I tell my students to write down exactly what they want in a relationship, and all the intricate details regarding the partner they are looking for must be included. Don’t leave out anything. Make sure you add things like faithful; adaptive to changes; being flexible and kind to everyone you love, even down to your pets. Ensure that the things that annoy you are written in a way to remove them easily - examples like they will trust me, as I am trustworthy etc. Don’t forget to time frame this, as it helps to create balance and belief in your ability to find and choose correctly. If it takes a bit longer, then so what. You deserve the best, and why not wait for the best.
I did this, without even knowing what I was doing at the time. I’d just been released out of a violent, love/hate relationship of five years, and demanded to myself that the next relationship (always another) must be so much more in every way. I had to wait, however it worked, and 29 years later and three beautiful (most of the time) children; we are still together. A couple of life sentences, says my husband, and at time we do not like each other but he was what I asked for. Therefore and on this, we're very compatible, and both very demanding of our circumstances and of each other. I could have made my list twice as long as I did, but hey for better and for worse we must change and grow, and my life has been extremely good. I’m proud to be a part of it.
One more tip before I give you a snippet from my book, Solutions for Life.
Be grateful in life for what you have, or are going to have; as this will encourage you to believe in yourself and achieve the best that life has to offer you from your instructions.
Love, sweet love.
This below has been extracted from my book Solutions for Life - Chapter One: Are You Your Greatest Enemy.
Some of us can already answer this question, while others will ignore or deny it. The answer comes from within you, and if we are really honest with ourselves we know that we have been our worst enemy at some point in our lives. We either keep making the same mistakes over and over again, choosing the wrong people to be part of our lives over and over again, or even think the wrong thoughts over and over again. We make all the excuses in the world to cover, hide, drown out or change blame to make ourselves feel better about our own mistakes. We carry guilt around on our shoulders, and it weights us down to the ground and sometimes beneath it.
We have forgotten to take back our own responsibility for our actions. We call it fate or it wasn’t meant to be, or even worst stay in that position for fear it could be even harder on the other side; or we talk ourselves into the notion that there is no other side, and we have to stay and put up with the way the situation is at present with no hope or favourable outlook for the future.
Yes, we all have ugly stuff to deal with, but some of us clutter up our minds like we do our houses, and it all becomes too hard to handle at some point. We put up with hurt for far too long, and then one day we explode inwardly or outwardly. It does not matter which way, as they are both as dangerous as one another.
We need to take back the responsibility of our lives, and start to rethink our paths. We need to stop blaming others, and start to think of ourselves and the way we feel, and finding a solution to whatever it is that is holding us up from having a good life. Some of us want more than others and that is alright; but at the bare minimum we must be happy and grateful with where we are at any given moment in our lives.
I carried hurt around for years. It was with me constantly. It never left my side, and when I gained the knowledge and learned it was my fault that I could not release myself from the pain; I then began to rethink my thoughts was I able to recognise that I could do something about it.
It was harder than I had ever realised. Just letting go of a small piece of the pain was physically demanding and mentally melting. Through training and applying strategies with solutions; the pain and distrust which I had surrounded myself with, and it was causing me to mentally and physically start to destroy myself; losing my identify and only after I persisted and talked myself stupid, did the memories begin to slowly move from the front of my face, to the back of my mind, and then into the black vault of hellish regret and pain; of which I can only visit on the rare occasion, and after I placed these memories where they deserved to be stored in this very small part of my brain. After many months of positive actions, only then did I began to let go of the hurt and rethink everything in my life.
Once we have made the decision to change for the better, don’t go back. Never go back; only let yourself move forward. I don’t even want a sideward move from you, only ever forward.
Recognise the destructive beliefs, and where you are when they happen. We all have a sorry for me mode. When you activate this mode, be aware and change it immediately. If you let it continue, it will destroy you. Stop being your own worst enemy, and as you read on through this book; pick the pieces of information that you need to help you, as we are all individuals and need different levels of help; knowledge; training; encouragement; delivery of information, and recognition at different times in our lives. Never believe it is too late, or that nothing can be done to help you. If you are still breathing, together we can make life work.
We can’t bring back the deceased, but we can be grateful that we were a part of their short or long lives, and that we made a difference to them while they were with us on earth. If we regret not doing this, then just say it out loud; they just might be listening to you.
Thank you for the article. I was speaking to a guy at the gym this week and as all conversations go he was staring about how his wife had died suddenly before his eyes and how devastated he felt without her. Being you and after some years, he discovered creating a vision board where he wrote and added images of the kids he wanted to meet and marry and to start a family. He did meet that very lady, got married and has a wonderful relationship and just fullfiled his dream of having a family, just 3 mths ago.
i believe in manifesting as it's happened to me many times but as he did a Vision Board so too must i, and create a list like you said of all the pluses from A to Z without missing one aspect and for me to also create and even better person in me. I know it absolutely works as the best I've manifested was the exact house i wanted to live in but there's more.
So thanks! I'm ready for action.