Love and compassion enables us to give our partners wide open spaces. This means that we are understanding and forgiving when it comes to minor irritating habits or silly mistakes. This may be a minor irritation, like the way they chew their food at dinner, or an ongoing problem of leaving clothes on the floor. However, a person may not be so easy going if they are going through inner turmoil. Problems with finances, kids, health, or family can bring about a wave of emotions, and make those minor irritations into much bigger problems.
A partner's mood swings can become alarming if they are constantly bothered by simple things. Irritability is hurtful for the person dealing with it, and the unlucky people around them. There could be a million reasons why your partner is always in a bad mood. It could be one of the signs of adderall addiction, or something less life threatening. Everyday stressors can take a toll on the most patient human being. How can you find out what is bugging your partner?
A direct conversation will open the floor to what is bothering them. Open communication is the number one necessity for all relationships. Two important key pointers when you are communicating with your partner is to be an active listener, and use an “I” statement when speaking. It may sound selfish, but starting conversations with “I feel…”, “I think…” or “I thought…” are good ways to avoid the blame game. You don’t want to come across as verbally accusing your partner if they are in a bad head space.
If communication is not something you are ready to try then consider a subtle approach. Irritability and anger are two sides of the same coin. Could it be that he or she is constantly irritable because of an underlying anger about something else? For example, many therapists believe that the root of anger in men is often related to jealousy, shame, and sadness. It is typical for a person to have misdirected emotions that can spill into various areas of their life.
There are techniques to lessen feelings of frustration, fear and anger. The acclaimed author and life coach Tony Robbins had this to say about dissipating anger and fear. “I focus on three moments in my life that I’m grateful for, because gratitude is the antidote to the things that mess us up. You can’t be angry and grateful simultaneously. You can’t be fearful and grateful simultaneously” Try to bring attention to the good qualities in your partner and encourage them to practice gratitude daily.
Think about asking your partner to join you on a meditation retreat or yoga class. These are proven ways to center the mind. Activities such as jogging and knitting are also beneficial in quieting the mind during stressful times. Mindful activities may also give them the opportunity of vulnerability to be more forthcoming with how they are feeling. Coping with a partner that is experiencing changing moods and irritability can be a pathway to better understanding.