I can’t count the number of times I have had to use the phrase that every woman hates to hear. ‘He is just not that into you’ is one of those phases that has some sort of mystical taboo placed upon it. Some of my most intelligent friends would rather deny the existence of this phrase than face the fact that the guy they are hung up on may not feel the same way. All the time I hear friends use phrases like “he is just so hard to read” and “he texts me back and it is only one word answers”. Then when nothing happens, the guy in question becomes the elusive ‘one that got away’.
Like the stigma surrounding the ‘friendzone’, the possibility that someone does not feel the same way about you should not be treated as unnatural and obscure. So, why is it so hard to accept that someone might not want us? From a logical standpoint there is no reason to dwell on things that are not meant to be.
I am no stranger to the sort of stress ‘is he interested’ can put on you. And what I know now is only from the fact that I went through the exact same thing. Always over analysing what was really simple, getting jealous for no reason, not understanding how someone could be so emotionally hot and cold all at once. It was only one day when a friend said to me “If he likes you, he will let you know” that I was able to stand back and really look at the situation with new eyes. It was then I realized that I was always the one facilitating interaction. I was asking all the questions. It was then I realized we were just friends.
Those simple words may have hurt, but they were what I needed to hear. I recently had a friend that was hung up over a guy who had even said he was not into her. She could not understand what it was about her that was ‘wrong’. I told her there was nothing wrong with her but he was ‘just not into her and she ought to move on. You can’t force others to like you and you should not want to. You would never want to be in a relationship with someone who did it because they felt sorry for you.
Sometimes it is hard to tell your friends the truth, but remember you are doing it for their benefit and they will probably thank you later. I know I did.
- Try not to over analyse situations
- If nothing has happened in three months it probably never will
- If he likes you, he will let you know
- Be yourself and never try to force someone to like you