Perhaps you were in a relationship for years and had become so used to being part of a couple. Then you separated. Your life is turned upside down. You may think you have to search for someone to fill the gap left in your life. Others may encourage you to look for a new partner. However, an alternative is to make the most of your time as a single person.
Deal with what's happened I think after a relationship break up there is a time to cry and feel sad. If we bury the negative feelings they have a way of bubbling up from the depths and overwhelming us at a later time, perhaps even in the form of Depression.
Watching tear jerker movies and listening to sad songs or beautiful music that brings tears to the eyes can help deal with the pain and sadness. There are health benefits in crying
Having a cry can be good for you Image courtesy of Pixabay
Writing feelings down in a journal or as a poem can be therapeutic. Creating art is another way of expressing emotions.
Time to move forward Then comes the time to start making plans to use this time of freedom constructively. There are advantages to being single.
As a single person one can choose -
the activities one gets involved in
who to hang out with
how long to stay at a function
when to stay home
to have an early night when tired
to go to different places
to learn new skills
But I'm on a tight budget Don’t use limited finances as an excuse to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Many things can be done on a tight budget.
Discover what events are happening in your area -
Watch out for free activities and 'come and try' days
Read advertising on community notice boards and shop windows
Sign up for emails about free events
Explore museums and galleries
Free event sign at Fringe Festival Image by Marie Vonow
Accept invitations from friends and family rather than making excuses. (Let them know if you are on a budget.) Yes, you can go as a single person.
Be spontaneous Learn to be spontaneous and say, 'Yes', when invited out to the movies or for a swim at the beach at the last minute. Okay, I'm not a 'spur of the moment' person by nature. I am a planner. Sometimes I make myself say, 'Yes, I'd love to go,' and then work out how to be ready in time.
Step out of your comfort zone You may decide to step out of your comfort zone and try a few activities you suspect aren't your thing. Give them a go and then you will know.
Quite honestly, going along to some speed racing event which ended with a demolition derby thing isn't something I will bother with again. I didn't appreciate getting hit by bits of flying mud either. But I went.
I was surprised that I did enjoy mini golf and I was better at it than I expected. New experiences, good or bad, will be something different to think and talk about.
I've got no one to go with At first you may find you don't have many people to go out with. Perhaps your established friends are in relationships. Give it a while. You will start making friends with other singles.
There are activities you can do alone. It's ok to do things on your own, a sign you are a strong person. It may seem strange the first time you sit in a cafe having a meal alone. After a couple of times you will probably become more comfortable being on your own. Being independent can be powerful feeling.
I enjoy doing things on my own during the day time. If I am going out at night I go with a friend. Most nights I enjoy doing my own thing at home, whether that be writing or binge watching something on Netflix.
Get the maximum benefit from this time when you are unattached. You have the opportunity to discover yourself, spend time on activities you really enjoy and become a more interesting person.