So it's just been me for about 27 years now. Single and sometimes happy. There are times were I would like a boyfriend but it isn't always that easy to find one.
Recently I was told by a friend I should write about myself. Well I have but this I think is what you're wanting.
The last time I dated was so long ago I can't even remember. The first was an Irish guy he was friends with a friend and I was invited to a girls birthday party and we met there. It was short lived as sort of good friend 'Lily' decided she liked him and tried to get with him. Then there were a few short relationships of up to maybe 3 weeks. I was told those don't really count. But I beg to differ.
What makes a relationship a relationship? Do you have to be asked out? Do you have to spend time together? And as in young relationships kiss? I really don't think year 10 and 11 kids should do much more than that. So if that's all that's required of a relationship. I did all those things. Was I in love?No. But I was a teenager. When your a teenager you always get really upset when you get dumped, no matter how short the relationship is.
The last guy I dated was a guy I met who was another friend of a friend. I was out with some friends and we ran into this 'Neil' who knew a friend I was with. I liked him instantly! He was good looking. We went on a date and I invited Neil to a friends party and he brought along his friend 'John'. He told me he liked this other girl and was going to go out with her. As you can imagine I was pretty devastated. John was nice to me and said he would go out with me. Two weeks later he calls me his girlfriend and I was surprised . We hung out a bit but I didn't realise when he said it he was being serious. I was so happy.
So I now had a boyfriend I thought I was pretty cool back then too. So imagine how good I was feeling. The relationship lasted about 2 months, and then I got dumped. I was pretty upset about it and confided in a friend. Turns out he had been cheating on me for a whole week. I was so angry she knew and didn't tell me. If I had known I could have dumped him first. So this was longest relationship ever. Hard to believe I bet, but true.
Since then there were guys who I've liked but it has never worked out. There's been guys who get my number and then tell me they are "seeing where it goes" with another girl but we could still be friends. Then theres the guys who suddenly stop talking to you for no reason whatsoever. Sometimes those guys get back to you months later and tell you that they had a girlfriend at the time and they couldn't talk to me. When a girl gets ignored she usually wants an answer.
I know I did. I always thought I needed an explanation. I had convinced myself if a guy didn't like me there must be something wrong with me, and that an explanation would help me when I meet the next guy I like. So then I would be a pest and text a lot trying to get a response. Nothing. No replies. Until months later (as mentioned earlier) A little tip for guys though, when you do this. A girl is no longer interested. You're saying: I had a girlfriend I couldn't talk. They hear: I had a girlfriend so I stopped talking to you but I'm single again and you were my next in line. Ok so maybe I can't speak for every girl. But that's how I felt.
There's also a third group of guys I have met and these are the "I'm only looking for fun" types. These guys just want sex. But I don't go for that. It doesn't matter what your idea of a friend with benefits is, but I won't go for it, even if it includes hanging out and being seen in public together. I'm not ever going like the idea. No one goes out in public and runs into an old friend and says oh hey 'Sue' this is my f**k buddy 'Dave'
So that's pretty much my story. There's been times when I've been told I'm weird for still being single. But I brush off the negative comments and try move forward. Love is in my future and I just have to wait for that time to come.
The thing I have learnt from my time on this earth having spent most of it as a single person is just be happy. Just be happy with who you are and remember always that you're not weird. There is nothing wrong with you. Just know that in time, whatever is meant to happen will.
Thank you. I had this article written out a while ago and it was only now I felt ok with sharing it. I hope it can help people in some way, even just for the reader to know they are not alone in what they might be going through. And I will look up that UK guy. Thank you.
What a great article Katie. Well done for sharing your insights about dating, men and being happily single. I think women of all ages can identify with you and what you have been through. When I was single, I came across this UK guy via YouTube. His name is Matthew Hussey and he really helps women value themselves and work out how to deal with guys. He's worth a look because he wants women to be empowered and you may find something that you can share with us all.
Take Care, Selina