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Not in The Best Relationship: Leave or Stay?

by Elizabeth (follow)
Visit Elizabeth's Blog relationshipsadvice.co for more free advice on relationship and marriage problems.
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Couple sitting on a couch and are mad at each other
Image Courtesy of Michal Marcol/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Being in a relationship that drains all your energy is something that you should act upon immediately. It is either you talk it out with your partner, or you quit at once. Unfortunately, getting out is easier said than done.

No matter how much you want to, you just can’t break up with your mate because of so many things that your sympathetic heart and upright conscience can’t allow.

But truth be told, staying is a much better option than quitting. As far as most mature relationships are concerned, staying in despite the bumps is always a much better option. And these are the reasons why:

1. It boosts the maturity meter to an all-time high.

There is sometimes no better way to train people into maturity than by getting deeply hurt by occasional rejection, and a few other relationship issues. True learning usually doesn’t come in easy-going and anything-but-serious relationships. This is not to say that you should be willing to endure forever.

Martyrdom is another significant issue in itself. The point is that not all convenient options should be necessarily chosen. Staying will make you realise what you really want in a relationship, and if it ever really points to the conclusion that is different from where you are; then maybe, just maybe, it is the right time to quit.

But if the gods are on your favour, you would be delighted to find that the things that put your relationship in such a bad shape are nothing but petty and insignificant issues blown up by your own immature temper.

Staying in the relationship allows you to see the bigger picture without ever having to distance yourself from the scenario. Being able to get a good look at what is happening, or not happening, will enable you and your partner to settle everything in more agreeable terms.

Meanwhile, breaking up will only let you breath for a good number of days until you get to your next relationship. The worst thing about breaking up is that it becomes a hard habit to break for some people. It is as if it is the only good way to get what you want without it ever telling you what you actually want.

Thus, the cycle of immature and lame relationships. If you are intent on being in a sturdy relationship that is enough to withstand tempestuous issues; stay, look at the bigger picture and evaluate what’s in excess and what’s missing. Negotiate and decide. For all you know, you are screwing a good chance at forever.

2. It generally makes you a better person.

Most horrible people I know suck at keeping the people that truly matter. They usually do not know the value of cherishing a relationship. They are the ones who always want to have everything their way.

But that is not how things in a perfectly reasonable world work.

Unless you live in Mars or some undiscovered planet, you probably will get more chances of ruling out and getting things done in your accord. Being in a steady relationship with someone is a good test to improve your humanity.

You wouldn’t believe just how many people improve their social skills just because they are in a relationship, no matter how flawed it gets. If the relationship is one that gets the better of you most of the time, then reflect.

We usually blame it on our partners when things are not going as smoothly as we planned it. But deep in our conceited egos, we know that we are also very much to blame.

Instead of always looking at our partners for faults, it would be better to look within. This does not have to mean breaking up at once. Make some effort to adjust your demands. Be ready to meet half way. You would be happy you chose to stay.

3. It saves you a ton of more reasons to be hurt.

Needless to say, breaking up usually cuts deep, leaves ugly scars, and costs copious amounts of tears. What is even worse is that breaking-up does not really guarantee rainbows and butterflies afterwards.

The real deal every time you encounter a relationship mishap is figuring out how to spare yourself from getting hurt for the same reasons and being caught up in the same mistake again. Choosing to stay in the relationship allows you the chance of being better at handling whatever comes your way, especially when it comes to a lifetime relationship.

Relationships that end up in “I do’s” usually had to go through the most difficult battles before gloriously culminating in that momentous walk-in the-aisle.

Just imagine how incompetent you would be if you never stayed in horrendous relationships for some time. With all the challenges that come with lifetime relationships, you need a tougher spirit and an invincible character. You get that when you stay in the relationship.

4. It gives you a good grip of reality.

It would be an illusion to hold on to the idea of a happily-ever-after. If Snow White and all the Disney princesses were to live in today’s world, they too would probably prefer going through some tough times and dwell on it for a while if only to have a sense of reality.

The real world does not promise a relationship that thrives in all the fun and laughter. The real world, rather, guarantees a weather-beaten relationship but lasts for all the good reasons of companionship, loyalty and true love.

Staying in the relationship when it is getting really rocky is the best time to examine how to further drive the relationship to security and fidelity.

It is like driving a car against a coarse road. Friction keeps the car running, albeit smoothly on the road. Without exerting some friction, the car wouldn’t get anywhere.

This is the principle that works for relationships. So it only makes sense to think about staying despite the rough times because anyway, that is how most things are supposed to be.

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