Doing something that you know will annoy someone else is a very powerful thing.
When you've been with someone for a while, you learn about them and get to know them. People have their own little quirks when they argue or have disagreements. After a time you get to recognise those deeds or quirks, as they keep on happening - and they can be frustratingly annoying!
Here's my pet peeve list:
Ask me a question and walk away
(Do not ask me a question if you don't want an answer - Right! I'm not cooking tea)
Say your bit and walk away
(How dare you have your say and not let me have mine. I am as important as you. Right! I'm not talking to you)
Slam car/house/cupboard door
(Wasn't expecting that, gave me a fright - he'll probably go around pretending he's deaf)
Tell me 'Yes Dear' (add rolling eyes and audible sigh)
(Oh dreary, dreary me - lets go around pretending we're old buggers - talk all drawly and slow and not quite with it)
Here's his pet peeve list:
Dinner not cooked
(She should look after me. Think I'll ask her why and walk away)
(How rude. I'll say my bit and walk away)
I don't understand that he's deaf
(I didn't hear what she said. I need to slam a cupboard door)
(She's talking like I'm stupid or something - 'Yes Dear')
My interpretation of our lists are as follows:
My list has all the characteristics of expectations that I should be heard/acknowledged.
His list has all the characteristics of the delivery of the message. He doesn't mind hearing what I have to say but it would be good if I could say things in a nice way.
Somehow we know what buttons to push - this is what gets us noticed. This is a device we use to let the other know we are annoyed - albeit in a semi-sarcastic undermining sort of way.
This can do one of two things:
Clear the air when lesser methods have failed, like asking nicely or hinting.
Take the issue to a full scale row.
So while you might achieve some temporary snarky satisfaction - once the spat is over, you can sort the issue / say sorry / make up.
Note: For the record he's not deaf. Just likes to pretend he is.