This is a poem that I wrote during one of my darker emotional periods when I was suddenly single and pulling missing pieces of myself back together.
It was poem that jumped into my mind in 2010, which I decided to write down and keep as it helped me to feel what I needed to feel and express what was going on inside me at the time.
Healing the Heart, Selina Shapland 2014
Poetry and writing have a way (for me) of helping to process the difficult and the happy times in life. I hope you enjoy this poem. I have only shared this with a select group of people in the past, but now I would like to share it with you.
August 2010, Poetry to Pull Me Back Together
There are times when life is filled with hope
The sun shines, people smile
My puppy dog greets me at the door with a cheery 'Hello' and 'pat me now' motto!
I am filled with love and adoration for all that I am and all that I have
There are days when my skies are grey
Torn assunder by pain and terror
Filled with bleak unknown-ness
Tired, dark and black as clouds filled with thunder
These are the times I cry.
Where do I find myself now?
Now that I am yet again alone?
How to crawl back from the precipice of pain I have undergone?
The sadness in my heart, the feelings of rejection, the lack of self-love.
This is what I wonder.
Who will I love now? Me? Why not, it could be!
How will I come to make it alone? Now, that I am on my own.
Alone, I see myself, I am my very own familiar stranger
Known and yet so distant,
I am the grit inside my own little oyster.
But there are sun-shiney days to come, I've even had some.
Numbness gives way to happy moments, spent with friends and loved ones.
Loads of laughter, joy and love come to surround my existence again.
Brightness fills me even in the darkest of times when I have been torn assunder.
Healing, I am a pearl in a little shell of protection.
Slowly I move toward myself; I bring my broken pieces back together.
Slowly, slowly I am a trooper.
For now I hide away as I take my time to mend my heart back together.
Love lives here in this Lady of Courage, now and forever!
It is my hope that if you have or are experiencing the wild emotions of being single that these words help to bring comfort to you.
Over the years and relationships, short and long, I have come to understand the mystery of impermanence. It doesn't make processing the emotions any easier but it does help to move through the experience. That's what I have found.
PS - I do love the ability of the written word to express what I cannot verbally speak.