I'd like to introduce myself as someone who is down to earth, with realistic views and expectations and truly not too fussed about finding a man who is absolutely perfect...
So why is it, since I began the circus that is online dating (in January 2014) - even though I've met and dated five wonderful men, I still haven't managed to transition into a relationship in its true sense, shape or form?
I have to tell you right now, it truly is them and not me and their so called dealbreakers!
Am I sounding bitter - you bet I am... Particularly after the most recent date.
Let's call him Brutus - all genteel and euphoric with two meet and greets in neutral surrounds (a pub then a restaurant) and some really deep and meaningful texts, phone calls and emails. Seemed like Brutus would be a goer in the sense of a true relationship.
Fast forward to our third meeting (we'll call it that because I don't know how else to describe what happened next).
I plucked up the courage to host Brutus for a delicious 3 course meal in my own home which would include our just desserts. Alas, it was not to be.
Brutus was hardly over the threshold of the front entrance when he started to suffer an allergic reaction.
To what? He was stumped - apparently he doesn't have asthma, so it couldn't be my home's woollen carpets, however, I did have a peculiar sweet scent about me, was it the beauty products I had on? No, I was too involved in cleaning the house and preparing the meals that I'd showered and moisturised but no perfume or make-up, only sorbolene for me!
Was it the laundry detergent I used? Ah ha - there we had it: the culprit! Brutus had experienced allergic reactions to laundry powders in the past but seemed to be good with Cold Power laundry liquid.
Given I use a reputable eco-friendly laundry powder (Dealbreaker Number 1?), I wasn't about to strip off and serve him nude - then nothing would get eaten as it could go either way: pure revulsion (on Brutus' part) or he'd want to jump to 'dessert' then and there.
Struggling to breath clearly, Brutus tried to get some fresh air out in my backyard - oops, there's my cat and Dealbreaker Number 2: Brutus absolutely detests cats!
After a 15 minute attempt of consuming the first course (soup), it was still not a goer - "let's go down to the beach and see if that works" suggested Brutus.
Brilliant solution! I even offered to take Brutus to the local medical centre which given it was only about 7pm would be open to treat him but Brutus declined.
Arrived at the beach on a romantically calm and pleasant night with not a soul around - perfect! Nuh uh... Brutus was tormenting himself about the demise of what was our planned romantic evening together.
So into his car and back home we went, where he politely dropped me off and departed in his trusty steed.
What happened next left me well and truly gutted... World's away from the text Brutus sent within an hour of the completion of our first date ("I had a wonderful evening - can't wait to meet again...") came the final 'Dealbreaker' text: "I'm at the FMC - I'm sure you're a wonderful woman but the allergic reaction I'm suffering is a dealbreaker. Please don't email, text or call me - I've blocked you".
Of course, I refused to let it end there and against Brutus' wishes and purely because I was concerned for his health (and state of mind), I tried to contact him by phone, text and email (with no success - fancy that)! Short of actually driving to FMC (picturing Brutus in a coma or ICU/worst case scenario) - I then phoned FMC Emergency who advised noone by that name had been registered or treated.
So what to do next? Soldier on and write about it - that's what! I'm really interested in hearing about any of your 'deal breaker' dating/relationship experiences.