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Somebody That I Used To Know

by Millie Clayton (follow)
Love (299)      Relationships (276)      Healing (10)      Break Ups (10)      Endings (9)      Separation (5)     

Why do ex-partners act like strangers?
Maybe that is somebody that I used to know. Image; Dreamstime

It is disconcerting to find yourself looking into the eyes of a stranger once you and a partner have separated. After all the intimate moments a couple have shared, it seems as if it is all forgotten once the relationship has terminated. Whilst this may not always be the case once two individuals have moved on, it seems as if there is a prerequisite to consider an estranged lover as non-existent when trying to get over them.

It is such a calamity to consider the juxtaposition in emotions experienced in these two opposing scenarios:

1. A friend comes back from overseas after several years having not been in contact. You catch up for lunch, and it's like you both haven't skipped a beat. The environment is extremely comfortable and you realise how much you have missed your friend.

2. Running into someone you used to love only just a few months prior. You shared everything with this person, and despite thinking your stars are aligned; the relationship ended abruptly. You were extremely hurt, but now you have just started a new chapter in your life. You barely recognise the person that you used to know. You don't feel as if you can talk to them comfortably because now, they seem to be completely different to who you thought they were.

How This Happens

To get over pain, it becomes natural to block out any memories associated to it. Once a break-up happens, a person must re-establish who they are in order to get back on their feet. Unfortunately, this may involve bringing foreign emotions to take over the ones that used to be in place when looking fondly over precious moments spent together as a couple. Some people experience anger when considering their Ex, whilst others wonder in what world they even considered this person a good match in the first place.

After being extremely intimate with someone, it is only natural that after disconnecting that you don't feel as if you know the person anymore. There is such an abrupt ending to the feelings of intimacy, it can feel as though you are left dazed and confused.

In Time

Whilst in time you can respect and look fondly back on the memories you shared with a past significant other; it is rare to happen straight away. Allow yourself some time to know those memories are stored safely somewhere in the back of your mind. Don't put pressure on yourself as you aren't required to access these memories until you are in the right frame of thinking. Only once you stand up, ready and enthusiastically for what is awaiting ahead of you, can you have a chance to look back on the memories with fondness. And hopefully, at this point, there will be an opportunity for you and a prior partner to reflect fondly on your time together.

#Break Ups
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