It's funny (strange) the things that come to mind at different stages in your life.
When I was young and heard older people talking about their lives
and adventures - I wondered what kept some memories so strong and how those memories were 'jogged' - brought from the past to the present.
Which brings me to this story. When I was young I caught the eye of an older man. I thought he was older because I was so young. He was big and tall, drank and smoked and was hanging around with a dubious bunch of people and our groups would come into contact from time to time.
He would talk nicely and be kind to me - it was easy to see he was different from the others - he had manners. He tried to talk to me but I always excused myself.
I heard whispers he fancied me and I was horrified. He was so grown up it was scary (he would've been early 20s). He asked me to be with him. I said no. I was out of my depth and realised it. I also wasn't about to go about laying down with anyone - too scary a thought!
I agreed to a movie date and when we left the house he opened a car door.
'Whose car is this?'
'I bought it for (because of) you'
I got in and there began a conversation. He had plans for us. I said he needed to make those plans for someone else. I just didn't see him in a romantic sense. Didn't see the point of playing games - like some of the other girls were doing. I'd already told him no - he was trying again - with wheels and a place to live etc.
He was a really nice guy. He took it fairly well leaving us both feeling awkward as hell. There was just no chemistry on my part and he was just so grown up and it was just the wrong time. I went back into the house glad that there was no movie that night.
Fast forward some years - seeing and experiencing relationships - I've been lucky to find the whole package - chemistry, compatibility and timing.
Now I am one of those older people. This memory was jogged because I was thinking on and appreciating how lucky I am in the relationship department.
I have heard lots of women bemoan 'there are no good guys about'. There are plenty. You just have to recognise them.
I had not thought of him for over 30 years. He came to mind today.
# Unrequited Love