While it's perfectly normal (and even expected) for men to get 'cold feet' leading up to the big day, women are told that anxiety and nervousness leading up to their wedding could be a sign he isn't 'the one.'
Bridal anxiety is real, says Megan Luscombe from Starting Today Coaching who has launched workshops for women to help them understand their pre-wedding jitters. Image Credit: Starting Today Coaching.
Girls are raised to believe that their wedding should be the most wonderful and exciting day of their lives. It's expected for woman to be overjoyed for their 'perfect day' and that should doubt, stress or panic ever enter your mind, it must mean "don’t".
Disney and Hollywood romances tell us that everything has led up to this while men on the other hand, are programmed to expect cold feet, that it’s normal and part of pre-wedding jitters.
How can we tell one sex that the lead up to their wedding day will bring nothing but happiness and excitement and the other that doubt is expected and completely normal?
While many women are lucky enough to experience a stress free wedding, for those who are prone to anxiety or asking the "what if" questions, this can be a time of great fear. A fear that in many cases, is completely normal (it's a huge life transition) but even still many women don't speak up.
"There is an alarming double standard being encouraged when it comes to the emotions experienced in the lead up to the big day and I’m here to tell you a big secret, something that the bridal magazines forget to mention," says bridal anxiety expert, Megan Luscombe. "Pre-wedding anxiety exists for both woman and men, it’s real, it’s common, it’s confronting and when it smacks you in the face without warning it can leave you feeling alone, scared and completely misunderstood."
So what is pre-wedding/engagement anxiety? It's asking yourself questions such as:
What if I go through with this and they aren't 'the one'?
What if we fall out of love or get bored with each other?
Have I made the wrong choice?
What if we can't successfully merge our families and friends?
What if I have a panic attack the day of my wedding?
"All too often, engaged woman and men come to me feeling guilt for having the above concerns, however by working with them we have been able to address their common wedding nerves, what is causing them and how they can manage them effectively," says Luscombe.
While getting married is a big transition in life for both sexes, Luscombe has launched specialty half day workshops run in small groups of 10 for both brides and grooms to be to help them understand where their fear may come from, and how to decipher what is normal nervousness and what is a red flag fear.
Workshops run across Australia or individuals can book with Luscombe for individual sessions.