It can be difficult to work out if a new relationship is working for both parties or not. You may know how you feel and you may think you have worked out how he is feeling. However, sometimes you don't know the other party's feelings. No matter how many things you read about body language and 'the signs' it can be confusing.
At the start of a relationship you may be wildly in love. This is the real thing. It's different this time. You have no doubts you really like him, dare I say love him.
It can seem he feels the same way. There seems to be a true connection. He hasn't actually said he loves you, but hey you've only known him a short time so you don't expect him to.
The signs are there this is the real deal. You have been out a couple of times for a meal or movie and caught up for coffee in between. You talk for hours on the phone and are getting on so well.
And then, there is no contact. You tell yourself not to panic. Should you ring him? You tell yourself not to, not yet. You don't want to appear obsessed, possessive and clingy. However, you keep checking your mobile and land line phones in case you missed a call.
A few days go by. What is happening here? We were getting on so well. Gee, I thought we had a real connection.
You go through the list of possible explanations. He has laryngitis and can't speak. Someone in his family is desperately ill and he has dropped everything and rushed interstate to visit them in hospital. He has lost your phone number.
You recall the movies where one character utters those cruel words, 'He's just not that into you.' Okay, you decide you have to find out what is going on and you pick up the phone to call.
Yes, I am writing of a personal experience but many have been through something similar. It was some years ago and he didn't have a mobile phone. His land line didn't take a message either.
I rang and there was no answer. I tried a couple more times when I thought he should be home from work. I knew he had regular work hours so he wasn't working overtime. There was still no answer. As we had met out I hadn't been to his home or he to mine. I didn't know his address.
I stopped ringing, figuring I had got it wrong. He just wasn't that into me. I was disappointed because it seemed we had something.
Another couple of weeks passed. One day at work a staff member came to my office door to inform me there was a visitor for me. You guessed it.
Although he didn't know my home address we had talked about our jobs and he knew where I worked. He apologised for bothering me at work but could he have my phone number because he had lost it. Over the next few months I found out he often lost things like his wallet, his keys and so on. When he got a mobile phone he lost that a few times too. That's all another story.
He had been interstate as his father was very sick and had been in hospital. The night we met I had seen how much he loved his father. I was glad to hear his father had pulled through.
In this case not just one but two of the reasons we females give as reasons for no contact from a new man on the scene were indeed true.