To be happy in love, really happy we must start with finding harmony within ourselves. Contentment must not be dependent on outer conditions or other people, this is outer madness, you will never be content, you will always want. It all starts with independence, not meaning financial but emotional independence. You must be content with who you are and not be reliant on others for validation. There are times when we still seek approval in some way, whether it is a work achievement, sporting or personal goal - where receiving recognition helps motivate us to do more great things. True emotional independence doesn’t seek approval or support from others; it begins with a loving heart. Looking for love to feel content, has often proved not fulfilling. Humans are never fully satisfied and we often don’t get what we search for. It is human nature to complain in life and it is easier to go down that road. We are often discontented in our relationships, jobs, family and personal life. Humans layer their disappointments within, often seeping out in envy and jealousy of others.
We will often confront ourselves in others, our faults will be mirrored, but we don’t initially see it. We might try to deflect issues from deep within ourselves onto others by criticism. Again we must look within, accept our own faults, take a step back, try to stop bad thoughts, breath, listen and accept.
No one is perfect, often a person you think is perfect, that you strive to be like, is no better than you behind their clever facade. Or maybe the reason they shine so bright, is they have developed self-contentment.
Self-Contentment is like a beautiful garden, full of love and acceptance for yourself and all your faults. This self-acceptance will develop your love for others, the more you give love to others, even just by being kind, slow to anger, accepting people’s differences, your contentment will thrive and blossom into a beautiful tranquillity of mind and spirit.
Daily remind yourself of your good qualities. It might help to write a list and read it to yourself like a mantra. Develop your good qualities, don’t dwell on the negative things in life, or fester in the ‘why me syndrome’. You will never live harmoniously until you let go of your past negative thinking. Stop looking to others for happiness, stop searching for love but look within yourself. Develop yourself to be a person that you love and let your love flow to others then you will find true harmony in life. I am also reminding myself, just by writing it!