A few years ago I fell in love. It was with a man 10 years younger than me. We met through a chat site and were friends by phone for several months first. Due to the age difference we initially never considered each other as the person we wanted for a relationship we would just chat and laugh on the phone or online about our different dating experiences.
He was so funny, so attentive always sending several cute text messages a day saying hi Miss adorability, how is the most gorgeous woman I know today? and so on. Yes over the top but when the general population of men today never text compliments like that or bother at all it was music to a woman’s ears. Then one day I was going out to meet friends and he called and said he was just driving though my suburb. For fun we decided as I was also on my way out that we would finally meet in a nearby hotel car park. Of course there was an instant attraction. We had already built a connection by phone for 3 months so it was as if we knew each other for years.
The next day we met up then began a very intense relationship where we saw each other 6 nights a week for over a year. His personality was a little extreme but enchanting in that he was very boisterous but often childish and loud when we were out doing things and he needed constant attention. He was also very talented in areas of music, photography and his much loved hobbies fishing and surfing. He was younger, cool, handsome in a gregarious way. I was smitten.
We went everywhere together and my kids found him so fun. Past boyfriends just saw me once or twice a week and weren’t as fun or interested in my family. I met his parents and brothers they also loved me and the age difference wasn’t an issue as I was fortunate to look quite a bit younger back then. The initial negative traits I noticed were how possessive he acted, ridiculously so and he would even get jealous if I talked to his parents or brothers too long. Even when I talked to strangers he would later create an argument. This was extreme as often it would just be a shopkeeper or a woman walking her dog, sometimes an old man and we would only exchange 5mins chit chat. He hated how friendly I was with strangers and would even admit it. It seemed that everyone was a threat to him. He also said he hated the public and he hated social events, thought they were all wankers. He would refuse to attend any functions and if I had to go he would text me all night and get upset if I didn’t reply to the point it was difficult to enjoy the event so I would go home early. He had considered himself superior to others and would often talk about how much smarter he was than anyone else. It was all about control though I wasn’t really aware of it at the time.
He would sometimes say cutting things to belittle me or make me lose my own self confidence even though quite honestly compared to him I was considered more attractive and confident. He loved having an attractive woman in his life but also hated it as he felt he couldn't trust them. He needed to constantly talk about his self contrived illnesses, he was never interested in anything I had to say especially if I wasn’t well or was having issues with my kids. He would always interrupt and steer the conversation back to himself or demand to know how much I loved him interrupting childishly. He also had no empathy for others, this was quite clear to me and I was also confused as to why he was like this and didn’t understand at the time. He would constantly accuse me of cheating when it was beyond ridiculous as I was with him 6 nights a week and the 7th night he would message or call me several times. He was constantly texting on his phone and would make out it was his fishing mates.
Time went on with a massive argument happening weekly.
Whenever we broke up he would take off for a couple of days or I would tell him to go to hell but he would always beg back and I would give in. I was sucked into the drama and the excitement he created. When he wanted to woo me he went all out writing poetry, sweet cards, special photo collages of us together with matching music compositions. Lots of unique romantic ways that other men rarely did. Then one day I started to question why he acted this way and what had happened to the consistent charming man I had once met. He was still charming but only when he thought he was losing you. He also would have his phone on silent and in his pocket most of the time. I became suspicious. I did the most horrible thing ...