A man and woman do not have neither the same conception of love, nor the same code of behavior or ways of expressing their feelings. The differences are so strong that a well known author and psychotherapist, John Gray did not hesitate to compare them in his book to beings that have landed from two different planets: Mars for men, whose affective sphere is dominated by values such as action, power and skills; Venus for women, who favor the expression of emotions, harmony, communication exchanges and creativity. Here is a list of the most common situations arising on a daily basis within couples.
She talks all the time, he is silent
It is not an uncommon thing for women to think out loud. This is why they may seem sometimes unstable in their opinions, fact which destabilizes their companion who keeps wondering why they keep changing their mind. On the other hand, men are often silent, feature that is interpreted by the feminine sex as a sign of disinterest in what they are saying. In order to avoid tension, one must realize that female speech is not gossip, but a way to give birth to their thoughts, while male silence does not result from contempt, but from a need for reflection, which takes time.
He informs on facts, she evokes feelings
A woman expresses her feelings freely about almost anything, while a man rather seeks to provide informative objective facts. She uses and abuses of superlatives, metaphors, generalizations and different forms of poetic license; he constantly seeks for the right word and takes what the other says literally. Most of the clashes between spouses are thus linked to a semantic misunderstanding.
She needs to be heard, he gives pieces of advice
In order to relieve stress, a woman needs to be listened to and have the legitimacy of her emotions recognized. But, in such a situation, the man will jump on his house trying to be the hero of his companion, the one who saves her from all this trouble. He will not be able to refrain from interrupting her with remarks aimed at minimizing her feelings or from offering miracle solutions meant to show his ability to make her happy. It is therefore worthwhile for her to take precautions before speaking by specifying that she expects nothing from him except listening to her. He must also learn to listen till the end and to try to really understand what she seeks to express.